apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
