Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
