idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
