Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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