brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize