U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
