So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
