Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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