I got chris browned last night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
