Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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