Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
