I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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