I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
