Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
