Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
