just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
