why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
