You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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