You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
