i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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