maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
