In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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