Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
