It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
