Who wears a wallet chain?!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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