I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
