chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
