Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
