I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
