when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
