We're like a lot better than the average bears
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
