I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
