is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
