some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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