god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
