Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't turn off my feet"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
