I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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