ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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