i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
