This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
