I faked an abortion last night.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
