Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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