i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
