I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
