just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Please don't give away my fajitas
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
