I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
