i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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