I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
