you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
