Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
