just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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