so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize