Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
