I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Houston, we have a blender
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
