Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
