I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
