i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Come share oat with me in your robe
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
