SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize