My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
