In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
