you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
