I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
