so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
