Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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