I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
