Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
