coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
